On the job market today I feel lost. It’s like there never has been a place for me, the true me. I’ve always been too tall, too short, too this, too that. I remember a job interview where I wanted to scream “Tell me how you want me to be!” One time I was called three (!) times, but they still couldn’t figure out what to do with me.
I need a job, because I need an income. That’s what it’s like for most of us. Money means life. A means for life.
Nothing makes me feel smaller than having to sell myself. It’s like begging to be loved. Choose me! Choose me! I’m the best! I am not cut out for that. I may be a “team player”, but I won’t “perform my best under pressure” or be a “multitasking star”.
How can I be good enough in a world of commerce? In a capitalistic mindset? There is always something bigger, something better. Someone better than me.
Don’t Believe The Lies
The whole idea about selling stuff, market value and commerce makes me die inside. Flea markets, vintage clothes and DYI mentality is what I like. And I think it’s what the Earth needs. Not more stuff.
It’s easy to start believing the lies. Believing I’m not okay and useful the way I am. But we are. I strongly believe there is a place for everybody. Maybe we have to search for – and on – new and untrodden paths.
In Berlin I see young people coming up with interesting ideas. They don’t seem to think too much about if they are good enough. If the system doesn’t fit them – they change the system.
I like that. I want that change.